Working with clients who have self-esteem issues can be very challenging. The need to pace the client’s world becomes essential as vulnerable people can feel overwhelmed by “too positive” an attitude from the Coach Practitioner.
Carl Rogers suggested that the relationship between client and therapist is the single most important factor for change and healing. He coined the term “unconditional positive regard”. This translates very easily into a coaching context where many clients seek help in improving their lives. Coaching is a good option for someone not deemed to need therapy but is still wanting to find more meaning and contentment in their lives
I have used this approach with both Coaching NLP and Hypnotherapy. Drawing on the work of my own mentor, Julie Silverthorn and her work at Neuroenergetics. It was here that she co-developed Humanistic NLP. HNLP and iNLP (Intrinsic NLP co-developed with Julie, Joe and I) have developed the idea of unconditional positive regard further with the concept of “positive internal representations”.
We hold internal representations of ourselves and others, the nature of these representations impacts on how we feel and behave. They also support and reinforce any linked beliefs we hold. For example, if we have a negative internal representation of ourselves we may also have beliefs about low self-worth or may believe we lack ability in the field linked to a specific internal representation.
There is value in transforming negative internal representations into positive ones and to some degree this is simply a decision to change it. However, we need to also check the positive intention behind the original representation.
How we feel, think and behave about another person creates our ongoing experience of that person. It becomes essential for you, as a coach to be able to hold a positive internal representation of your client in order for them to have the environment they need to thrive.
I am running two workshops on behalf of the Association for Coaching that include this topic and other Positive Psychological Approaches. The first is in London on 29th September and I will be repeating the same workshop in Sheffield in October.
Follow the link below for more information.